ELLIE'S BIRTH STORY: PART 2

I thought for sure we'd be meeting our third baby on Jan 23rd (a day early!) when I woke up to mild, but regular contractions. I stayed in bed as long as I could, but between the excitement and contractions every 5 minutes, I wasn't sleeping! So I picked up the living room, cleaned the bathroom, and was doing the dishes when Dan woke up. After sending him to the grocery (at 5am!) I called my midwife and my mom. 

When my mom arrived a few hours later ready to see Caleb off to school and spend the morning with Abel, contractions had all but stopped! They were now irregular and anywhere from 10-20 mins apart. Total defeat set in. Dan decided to work from home and I went back to bed, though I didn't really sleep.

Around noon, I talked with my midwife and we both figured it just wasn't time. I took a bath, drank a glass of wine, and crashed on the couch for a few hours.  My mom decided to take the boys home with her, to allow us more time to just relax, should baby decide to come. 

Early evening the contractions returned and built with some intensity. At roughly 10 minutes apart I once again was hopeful that this was it, but not overly optimistic.

By midnight the contractions we're every 8 minutes, but intense enough that we weren't sleeping. My sweet hubby suggested that we get up and move around the house to try to speed things up.  After two hours of endless laps around our tiny house, contractions were now every 2-3 minutes! We called our midwife and she headed right over. Things were finally moving along.

I labored for what felt like days, walking laps, taking a shower, catching catnaps literally in every room of our house. I could not get comfortable and felt that little progress was happening. 

Finally at about 8am, while my midwife was administering a second dose of antibiotics for GBS (which I had tested positive for), we talked about what to do next. She offered to check me and see if she could break my waters which might help speed things up. No sooner than I had agreed with her, my water broke (at 8:07am) on its own - while she's still pushing in the antibiotics!  She quickly finished up the antibiotics and  I sat back to let the nurse check that the waters were clear and she immediately noticed that baby was descending. I thought I'd just lay down to rest for a minute while my midwife switched places with the nurse (knowing the hard part of pushing was ahead of me)...as I did, my body completely took over and literally pushed Ellie out on it's own! I can remember looking at my midwife, saying "I can't stop, I'm not pushing."  

It was less than a minute from the time her head emerged to her snuggling on my chest! She was born just 5 minutes after my water broke at 8:12am, on her due date, January 24th!!!

Sweet Eleanor June, rocked our world the moment she arrived! I spent weeks in shock that I had a daughter.  Still today, I sometimes look at her and marvel over the fact that I get to be the mama of this sweet GIRL! She brings so much JOY and LIFE to our lives.

{Read part one of Ellie's birth story here. }

ELLIE'S BIRTH STORY: PART 1

I've desperately wanted to share our sweet daughter's birth story for over a year now, but could never quite find the right words.  To tell her story, we have to go back two years.....

November 2016.  During our annual anniversary, Dan and I talked at length about the next few years. We were eager to get started in buying more real estate and decided that we'd widen our parameters in include possibly moving our little family.  While we loved our little blue house, I was struggling with being home alone all day with our littles and not being near friends.  They had been working on our sewer connection for months and we couldn't even enjoy playing in our own yard. Dan's job kept him away sometimes 80+ hours a week making it hard to fit in housework.  We knew a move would help ease some of the stresses we were both dealing with, so we were open to it.

During the month of December, we looked at real estate daily....we visited and put offers in on a number of potential rentals, but nothing was panning out. Discouraged, we poured our energy into making some updates to our home - fresh paint + simple repairs. By the end of the year we felt like maybe we were supposed to just settle into our home for a few more years, but neither one of us were ready to give up.

Near the end of January I got a call from Dan one morning asking if I had time to come see a foreclosure he and our realtor had just learned about.  I literally loaded up the boys and went to meet him at the house.  This particular foreclosure was only available for "Owner Occupancy", which meant the owner had to move into the house and live there for at least a year.  So the question was - Is it worth moving our family across town, into the city? And could we live in this SMALL house for a year?  (it's important to note that the house is less than 900 sq ft and only 2 bedrooms).  As we were leaving we wrote up an offer - and within days we had a closing date.  Two weeks later we got the keys to Our Little Green Bungalow!

It was a whirlwind, completely unexpected, but completely exhilarating! We were finally taking steps to financial freedom and we had this awesome adventure for the four of us for the next year.

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During this time, Dan and I were both struggling with our desire to grow our family but felt it wasn't the right time.  Dan's job kept him away so much he barely got to see the boys, and we'd just bought a house so all his free time was spent getting it ready for us to move into.  Despite my inner desire, I was home alone with our two boys all day and felt ill-equipped to add more children to the mix.  Then there was the financial burden - we were already living on a single income.  While we were able to pay the bills, there wasn't much extra to save or invest what we desired!  We both felt like we had this heavy decision to make but didn't want to!  I remember one night near the end of February, just letting go and turning it all over to God - praying that if we were meant to grow our family that it would be in God's timing and not ours...and if we weren't supposed to grow our family that God would grant us peace about it.  Over the coming weeks as we dove deeper into house renovations, I was overcome by an incredible sense of peace and contentment about our family.

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May 2017. It took months to finish the house and get it to a livable state (gas and plumbing issues took far longer than anticipated!) but by mid-May we were moving! The night we moved in, I remember sitting on our front porch soaking in our new neighborhood. We talked about the walks we'd take on the trail and to the park.  How we'd visit downtown more often now that we were just minutes away.  We were both filled with joy and excitement just thinking about sharing this season of city life with our boys.  It was in that moment that I confessed to Dan that while putting this photo on the mantel that afternoon, I just couldn't shake the idea that someone was missing....that there was room for one more.  He looked at me like I was crazy - we'd literally just downsized - moved our family for four into a small 2 bedroom house.  Meanwhile I was recounting the past two weeks of feeling "off".  I had chalked it up to the stress and craziness of the moving process, but deep down wondered if maybe I was pregnant.

The next morning, I was the first one awake and decided to go ahead and take a pregnancy test to just clear my mind. I fully expected it to be negative - knowing that the stress and chaos of moving could have caused the types of symptoms I was experiencing.  So imagine my surprise when it was positive! I remember just sitting there staring at the test, working my way through every emotion of excitement, worry, fear, joy, frustration, surprise....I was anxious to break the news to Dan, especially after the conversation we'd had the night before.  I was a ball of nerves as I carried the test into the bedroom, unsure really what to say, but smiled through tears as I told him.  He just looked at me, his eyes full of joy and love and said "I guess we're going to need a bigger house" - and we both burst into laughter!

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The next 9 months were by far some of the most difficult and exhilarating of our lives.  Dan's job went from bad to worse that summer and we rarely saw him -- when he wasn't at work he was at our old house getting it ready to rent.  By the end of July, we both felt broken and beat down - I lived in fear of what the future of our family would look like, I worried about his health, our boys missing their daddy, how to take care of a baby and older children by myself.  The days were incredibly long.

Then, miraculously, something shifted. The last day of July my Young Living business hit an incredible milestone - one I'd spent the past 3 years working towards.  The next day our first house was officially rented and by the end of that first week of August, Dan was in the midst of interviewing for a new job! August was full and busy for us, but we were finally feeling lighter and happier.  By the middle of the month Dan accepted a new job and was set to start September 1st. We spent the last week of August on vacation with Dan's family and it felt like the perfect way to celebrate ending a difficult season and get excited for all that lay ahead in the next.

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Despite being my third child, I had a lot of fear about pregnancy and caring for older children.  I desperately wanted to keep up with the boys but by late November I hit a wall.  I was in excruciating pain being on my feet and ended up spending much of the holiday season laying on the couch.  It really took a toll on me emotionally!  I struggled daily to hold on to that light, joy and happiness we'd just regained.  As my due date approached I was eager to meet our little one, but again fear and worry crept in.  I had had a January baby before and knew that the weeks and months of dark dreary days could easily keep me down, and I desperately wanted to enjoy the postpartum season this time.

I knew I needed to be proactive and set intentions for the upcoming season - so I told anyone who would listen that I was going to do nothing but rest and care for my baby for at least 6 weeks. I asked, begged, for people to hold me accountable and call me out if I tried to bounce back too quickly.  I prepped meals, and made plans for friends and family to care for the boys so I could rest.  All the planning and preparing really helped to brighten my spirits as I waited for baby's arrival.

caleb's birth story

I spent the entire pregnancy dreaming about the day I'd finally get to meet my little guy.  I discussed at great length the wishes and desires I had for that monumental day.  I had a plan.  However, as the day approached it became increasingly clear that this plan was not going to work out the way I had hoped.

Our plan was to have a home birth with our fabulous midwife.  We planned on setting up a birthing pool so that we could experience a water birth if it felt right.  I looked forward to being in the comfort of our own home to labor and meet our precious little one.  That all changed when my water suddenly broke in the middle of the night 5 days before my due date.

Thursday, June 27

When my water broke at 1am,  I waited patiently for some contractions to start, and when I started to feel mild ones I woke Dan and told him that he most likely would be meeting his son that day!  It was hard to sleep as I anticipated the impending labor, however I knew that if I didn't get sleep I'd regret it.  I was eventually able to fall back asleep for a few hours and in the morning around 7am called my midwife.  She reassured me that this could take a while, but that we were so close to meeting our little guy. 

Throughout the day Thursday I tried to distract myself from the mild contractions.  I started to make a mobile for the nursery to keep my mind off of it.  In the afternoon I went to see my midwife to confirm that my water had broken and that the baby was still doing alright.  She had me take a non-stress test to monitor the baby for 30 minutes, during which the baby was super active and happy as can be.  She also confirmed that the mild contractions I was feeling were more like Braxton Hicks and prescribed some antibiotics for me to take to ensure I didn't get an infection then sent me home to wait it out.

Friday, June 28

That night the anticipation of meeting our little guy soon made it difficult to sleep.  At some point I did finally fall asleep, but at 1am I was woken by sudden intense contractions.  I woke Dan and we began timing them.  10 minutes, 8 minutes, 6 minutes.  Over the course of 3 hours they had become roughly 6 minutes apart and significantly stronger than the previous day.  This is when Dan decided it might be time to set up the birthing tub.  So he and my mother {who'd been staying with us since my water broke} set up the tub while I tried to get more rest.  Some how I was able to drift off to sleep for about 2 hours.  In the morning we called the midwife, letting her know that my contractions were still around 6 minutes.

I again tried to keep my mind off of the contractions.  I tried watching a movie {ironically, "What to Expect When You're Expecting"} while bouncing on the birthing ball - but it was too hard to focus.  Then I decided to make a batch of chocolate chip cookies, which took forever, as I was only able to do one step between each of the contractions.  By now it was afternoon and the contractions were still only 6 minutes apart.  I felt stuck.  I called the midwife again and we decided to do another non-stress test to check on the baby.

After the test confirmed that the baby was doing just fine, we talked about what would be next.  We decided that if the baby hadn't arrived {or was at least on his way} by Saturday morning, that we'd go to the hospital to be induced.  In the mean time there were a few things I could try to do at home to help augment the contractions.  Once home again, I busted out my new breast pump and gave it a try - this plus some laps around the house did wonders at increasing the frequency and intensity of the contractions, but when I stopped, so did the contractions.

By 7pm I felt defeated.  It had been 42 hours since my water had broken and I wasn't getting any closer to active labor.  Dan and I decided that instead of spending another sleepless night waiting it out, that it was probably better to head to the hospital to be induced that night.

We met our midwife at the hospital at 9pm and by 10 I was hooked up to the IV with antibiotics for the baby and began our first round of Cytotec.  Then the Dr. checked me and I was already dilated to 4cm, 90% effaced, and the baby was at a +1 station!  Amazing!  {So, for the past 45 hours my body WAS doing something, just slowly!}  This news was enough to get me to relax which brought on more contractions fairly quickly.  Once the Cytotec started working, we were in active labor!

Saturday, June 29

The rest of the night is kind of a blur, but somewhere around 1:30am I insisted that Dan get the nurse to check me again as I was ready to push.  He kept trying to hold me off, saying she'd be back soon.  Poor guy was trying so hard to guard me from defeat, concerned that she'd check and I wouldn't be there yet.  After a few more requests, our midwife went to get the nurse, and sure enough when she checked I was fully dilated and it was indeed time to push!

Caleb Roscoe was born at 3:03 am, after a total of 50 hours of labor!

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I don't remember much of the night, but this video tells the story so much better than I ever could anyways.  I'm so thankful to have had my dear friend Mackenzie there to capture this amazing night for us!  What a blessing to be able to look back and see this incredible experience from another perspective.

getting there

It's hard to believe that we've arrived at the final weeks of this pregnancy!

At this point it seems everything is in order...

the house is clean, fridge and freezer stocked, bassinet assembled, the carseat installed, back-up bags are packed

...now we wait!

 And waiting isn't one of either of our strong suits!

While I spend my days wondering the house finding little projects to occupy my mind, Dan's mind is racing with a long list of things he hopes to accomplish before the little one arrive.

I'm thankful for this time, time to just be and enjoy the moment.

Time to prepare mentally and physically for the most dramatic change in our lives to date.

We are so eager to meet you little guy!  But for now we're content with watching you roll around in my belly, singing to you, and dreaming about your little personality!  See you soon!

@ 36 weeks.

marveling at the size of my belly - and wondering how it's going to get any bigger!

counting down the days to schools end/summer break/maternity leave

rereading this book and this book

napping in the hammock

dreaming about what the little man will look like

washing loads of baby clothes

prepping tons of cloth diapers

organizing every inch of this house like it's my job

eating massive salads for lunch and dinner

enjoying strawberries straight from the garden

drinking cup after cup of red raspberry leaf tea

filling the freezer with delicious meals

sleeping with the windows open

falling asleep to thunderstorms

packing hospital bags for baby and I - just incase

soaking up every moment with my hubby

hello, third trimester!

Well, we've arrived at the final 1/3 of this pregnancy...the home stretch!  Though, we are by no means ready!  It seems the never-ending to do list just keeps growing, right along with the little guy!

The little man has been incredibly active lately, and feels like he's out growing his home...looks like I'll be having another growth-spirt soon!

A few weekends ago we went to Indy for a childbirth education class taught by a dear friend from college.  There were 3 other couples there, 2 of which were former IWU classmates.  It was fun to catch up and learn more about how to bring this little one into the world as naturally as possible.

In an effort to have the most natural birth possible, I've been doing a lot of reading and found this great book called "Mindful Birthing,"  highly recommend it to any pregnant woman seeking an un-medicated labor and delivery.  The techniques and scenarios discussed in this book, along with the educational background it presented, have helped me to prepare not only mentally, but physically as well to better cope with the some of the pain and discomfort of labor.

We're working hard to ready the house and are excited for visitors over the coming weeks to help with projects!  Our goal is to have the master bedroom "livable" and be able to turn our current bedroom into the nursery.  We know the little man will stay with us for a while, so we're not in any rush to get the nursery done, but at least have a place to put all his stuff that we're already accumulating!  Having a baby fills your house quickly!!  =)

Looking forward to enjoying these last 12 weeks as a family of 2.  We have a lot going on this spring with visitors and trips out of town, I'm sure it will fly by, but we'll do our best to savor every minute!

pregnancy cravings and a little bump.

This post is over a week late, but better late than never.  Right?  I'm currently finding it hard to find the time and energy to sit down and blog....a lot is changing around the Ankney house - besides my belly, though it doesn't always seem noteworthy...I'll hopefully get better at sharing the "mundane" as I know many family and friends enjoy this!

Week 24...16 to go!

This pregnancy is going so fast!  Hard to believe that I've been pregnant 1/2 of a year!   I have felt so good these past few months that when I experienced my first braxton hicks the other day I was immediately concerned - that is until a friend reminded me ever so kindly "well, you ARE pregnant!"  Thanks friend, and honestly, I can't complain, my biggest struggle has been sleeping at night and that's mostly because I toss and turn and try to get comfortable!  Though once comfortable I'm out!

I'm even starting to LOOK pregnant - as you can see above, I have a lovely little bump that I just can't seem to stop looking at and touching!  Pregnancy is such a magical and wonderful thing...unexpected and awkward at times...but magical!  I love the constant movements of the little man rolling around and flexing his muscles inside!  

Throughout pregnancy, many women talk of cravings.  Thus far the only two cravings I've experienced have been less of cravings and more of an extreme love of brussel sprouts and pesto.  Weird?! yes.  Healthy!?  absolutely!  I keep saying, if I am going to "crave" anything, at least these two things are healthy!

The other day I found this wonderful recipe on pinterest. 

Amazing!

This recipe is not only super easy to make, but has brussel sprouts AND pesto - PERFECTION!

Too bad we finished it that evening and didn't get to enjoy it another day! {I'll have to make a double batch next time}  And speaking of next time, it's definitely on the menu this week too!!

{19 weeks}

This week we got to see Baby Ankney for the first time, and HE's perfect!  Seeing him move around the screen was so magical, especially watching Dan's face as the miracle of pregnancy became so real for him!

I've been so busy with work these past few weeks I almost forget sometimes that I'm pregnant!  Still loving this whole experience and thankful that I have an abundance of energy and feel wonderful overall.  I'm soaking it up and working on as much as I can around the house in preparation for the baby.  Productivity not only feels good, but helps to relieve some stress about the insanely long to-do list before baby comes.

Dan and I have been able to spend most evenings together lately and that feels WONDERFUL!  We get to eat dinner together nearly every night, though he is tired of my obsession with brussel sprouts {pregnancy craving?}.  We spend our nights working on the house and tossing out baby names as we think of them.  The task of naming your child is quite a feat!  We have a short list of favorites, but plan to keep the little guy's name a secret until he's born.

{17 weeks}

Yep, baby Ankney is slowly making his/her presence known!  It seems like this little bump appeared out of nowhere over the past week.  If you know me you'll notice the bump right away, however, if you've never met me you'd think I just have a bit of a beer belly!

So far I love being pregnant!!  I am in awe of feeling of being pregnant.  It's such an amazing feeling to be the keeper of a little one.  There are days when I feel so utterly overcome with exhaustion that it's hard to get myself out of bed, and others {like today} I have so much energy I can't settle down for bed.  I'm eager to feel the little one move, but am filled with such joy each time I look down at my blooming belly and remember how amazing this whole process is.

I've been so consumed with educating myself about pregnancy and childbirth, and have begun prenatal yoga and a book study with a few friends.  I know that no amount of preparation will prepare me for what's to come, but it's so exciting to learn about all that my body is capable of!

Though Dan might argue, I feel I've got a pretty good handle on my emotions right now...though at the end of a long day I find myself on the brink of tears for what seems like no reason at all! Oh, hormones!  I'm not currently craving anything, but still have a major aversion to the smell of garlic and vinegar {they both have bothered me since before I knew I was pregnant}.  The size of my appetite however is incredible!  I totally out-ate Dan the other day at dinner - for those who know Dan know that that's quite a feat!  Not only am I eating more in one sitting, but I'm needing to eat more often.  It's such a crazy concept to allow yourself to give into that - but also it's remembering to be prepared and have snacks around all the time!

Overall this has been an awesome ride.  I'm so excited for the coming months {and years with baby Ankney} and to see what's in store for our little family!